My sister Wendy had many happy times but some tragedies in her life. She was a very brave lady and didn’t even know it. She battled through the tragic bereavement of her son and then was diagnosed with cervical cancer not long after. Watching and supporting her through these two tragic stages in her life was the most difficult of my life. Listening to her say why me?  Wendy battled through her everyday life, being a full time mum, wife and her treatment for cancer. She hoped like we all did, that she would get through the cancer battle.  Sadly this was not the case and she died in December 2012.

Not wanting to dwell on the sad tragic times, I want to celebrate my sister’s life, to keep her memory alive, share some of the many stories and life experiences we had, with her children (some censored of course), looking at photos where we have captured some of the great happy times and being thankful that she was in my life and her families and friends for as long as she was. Wendy had an impact on many people’s lives not just her families, what you see is what you get and if you didn’t like it tough she quite happily told people.  One of my teen memories was Wendy coming home from a night out with a gold “P” on a chain around her neck; me being a nosey teenager asked what it was. This was when she told me she had met Philip and it was love at first sight. They married in 1995 and went on to have 3 children together during their 17 Years of marriage. Wendy loved going out with family and friends and. It really made her night when Philip would get up and sing. She was always the life and soul of parties and thinking back this always make me chuckle.  

Wendy gave her family, friends and staff at St Gemma’s a tough time when she was confined to her room due to illness picked up because of a low immune system. The times she wanted to escape and if it wasn’t for her poor mobility she would have done so. On one particular day she was given the all clear and was allowed out of her room. She was quick to demand that we put her in her wheelchair and take her out for a coffee, but we ended up at the Pub. Once in the pub we ordered a selection of different foods as Wendy’s taste buds had changed. She knew what she wanted to drink though, a large shandy. Whilst we were out there were calls from family and friends who were at the hospices  trying to visit and Wendy was missing ,well that did make us laugh.. They all ended up in the pub with us  and Wendy telling  everyone we had kidnapped her. I was so glad we had this afternoon as it  was Wendy’s last venture out with her children, closest friends,  and family.

Wendy’s wish was to be at home, her mobility became less day by day and she became bedridden.  Her care was given at home and she found this hard. As her sister, I wanted to make sure we still could do nice things together despite her disability.  Helping her write Christmas cards out and making lists of things she needed to organise. She wanted to be involved in doing the everyday things as much as her body would let her. It was important that she got to see and hear what was going on around her, watching her children  get up to mischief fighting with one another.  Friends and family visiting made her days and her house was never without a visitor. I insisted on doing some of her personal care to make her feel good and ready for visitors. She loved her nails painted and insisted on a different colour every week, right up until her last days when they were bright red with sparkles.

Our last promise to Wendy was to celebrate her life and that’s what we do. My motto is live well, laugh often and love much and make the most of your life as you never know when your time is up.